Perhaps the most emotional part of any wedding (apart from the first kiss, of course) is the point at which the bride and groom read their wedding vows. As a concrete affirmation of the love each has for the other, the vows are a beautiful symbol of affection and emotion, and can often be incredibly personal.
Plenty of people want to write their own vows, but just don’t know where to get started. We understand it can be overwhelming, especially when you know you’re going to be reading them to an audience of your nearest and dearest. That’s why we’ve decided to come up with a few tips for writing your own vows.
1. Discuss the Tone Beforehand
More often than not, people go into their wedding planning thinking the vows need to be a spontaneous, unplanned event. While this is true to a degree, it’s always a good idea to have a brief discussion beforehand about how you want the whole procedure to go.
We certainly don’t recommend reading each other drafts of your vows, but you should at the very least have a discussion about the kind of tone you’re going to be adopting. Will they be funny, or heartfelt? Should they be intense or lighthearted? By having this conversation before the ceremony itself, you’ll be saving yourself from any potentially embarrassing mismatches. Your special day deserves a special set of vows — and the best way to accomplish this is to discuss the finer details with your loved one before you even put pen to paper.
2. Leave the Clichés Behind
Nothing makes guests want to roll their eyes more than a set of vows that are packed full of clichés. Not only are they common phrases that we’ve all heard plenty of times already, but clichés also rob the bride and groom of the opportunity to express themselves in their own words.
It can be hard to write from the heart, but the effort you put into writing your vows without any clichés will be noticed by everybody. Here’s a helpful way to think about it: aim to create a list of vows that nobody but you could have written. This might mean including entertaining anecdotes, your own favourite phrases, or even simply adding in a private joke only you and your spouse will understand. You don’t need to be a wordsmith — you just need to be honest, and to speak from the heart. Trust us: you’ll be glad you did when you see the reactions of your guests and your betrothed.
3: Rehearse Out Loud
There are very few of us indeed who actually enjoy speaking. For a majority of people, even the term conjures up horrific images of high-school presentations gone awry, dry mouths, and shaking hands. Fortunately, there’s a way to combat this, and it’ll go a long way to making sure your vows are memorable, not something you’d rather forget.
Practice your vows out loud on your own. It sounds simple, but you’d be amazed at how many people leave this out of their preparations. By getting used to the way the words feel in your mouth, you’re setting yourself up to deliver the vows smoothly and elegantly when the time comes. The more you go over them in private, the better the final effect will be on the big day.
No matter how you go about writing your vows — no matter which process you end up adopting — the three tips above will play a vital part in making sure it’s all as painless as possible. As a final note, we’re going to include perhaps the most important tip of all: enjoy yourself! This is your special moment, and you deserve to feel good about it. At the end of the day, you and your soon-to-be spouse will remember the vows for the rest of your lives; focus on the enjoyment aspect, and the rest will (more often than not) take care of itself.
Pen down your vows with these beautiful vow books from Wild Lavender Studio so that you can have a space to keep them close to your heart and remind yourself of your special day in the future!
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